ugh

haven't posted here in a very long time. is that even a proper sentence? huh. oh well. in accordance with this blog, let's continue with the whine and dine. so i'm love with her. and i can't admit it. i can't tell her. we agreed we couldn't anymore. and it's the right thing to do. but my heart just aches for her. i miss her laughter, her smiles, her smirks, her jokes, her uppity attitutde, her squinty eyes, her incredibly kissable lips. but it cannot grow into anything. we both know that. and it hurts me. when i talk to her i wish i could scream "i want to be with you!" but instead i talk about current events and silly topics that make her laugh. ugh. i know i've asked this before, but anyone out there that is just a normal person? it's difficult, i know, to be normal and read blogs but still. i think i'm normal....
i wish it were easier to meet persons. to walk up to people and ask, wht do you like to do? want to hang out? without looking like a freak or a pervert or worse. oh well, i guess rant is over. i must sleep.