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Still

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I wonder if you’d like to go on more walks with me. If we were together would you hold hands as we walk? I wonder what you would say if I told you I wanted to date. Would you be shocked? Alarmed? Disappointed? That classic, and maybe silly, “I don’t want to lose the friendship” thought keeps me from saying something. I don’t want to be that guy that is your friend only to date you. I hate that trope. I didn’t become your friend to get into your pants. But oh boy do I have it bad for you now.  It started small. First it was after years of being friends I still enjoyed getting to know little deeper things about you. For a forgetful person like me to remember childhood nicknames was a strange realization. I ignored it thinking it was just a fluke. Then little by little how I felt around you kept getting new facets and perspectives. Now it’s kaleidoscope of feelings! They are all beautiful and different and I love every one. We can be talkative friends about life, and in an instant enj...
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Smile

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 Can’t stop dreaming about you. Today I was at the store and found myself smiling about that time when we accidentally bumped into each other. All those papers on the floor. They seemed to be made out of lead how hard they fell. I apologized as you bent down to pick them up and i felt silly and self conscious as I too went down with you. It was very cliche the way it all happened. I think you felt my embarrassment a smiled at me. I wanted to love you right there and then.  The world was spinning in the wrong direction when we stood up and i was not able to say anything then. I had never seen someone so beautiful before. Your eyes, scrunching from the awkward smile, were kind and shy yet shined brighter than an emerald sea. I didn’t want you to find me staring so I looked down but your mouth was just as enchanting. Your lips were a hot-pink lemonade in a hot summer day. Your kiss would be enough to make Aphrodite relinquish her title.  And now I find myself smiling because...
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Bus stop

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 The way her hair danced with the wind was all he could think about that morning on the crosswalk. She was a couple of feet in front of him, one foot halfway perched on the curb. Her eyes were fixated on the little red hand across the street. She halfway turned her head as she expertly guided the flying golden strand and tucked it behind her ear. Her eyes swiftly looked back a for a tiny moment her eyes met his.  The green of her eyes flashed a little blue as she looked forward again. “Was it magic that made such hue?” He thought. “I will ask her today” he continued thinking. “Every day we walk together to the bus. Every day we catch little glimpses of each other. Every day it feels like the air between us flirts for us. I will ask her out today. Before the bus arrives”.  The light turned and she started walking. She walked confidently. Her hips swayed to a rhythm that hypnotized him. He thought how warm it would be to hold her by the hips and embrace her gently. She was ...
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forbidden letter

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(This was written in 2023. Seems ages ago  the start of a story I never dared finished writing)  i like you. even though i'm not supposed to. it's silly perhaps. or it could be seriously wrong. to me it just feels normal. but maybe to you it would be weird and gross. i keep telling myself i should want someone like you. not you. basically an imaginary version of you that matches with me in age and place in life. but that's hard to find. does it even exist out there? as far as i know you are unique. i mean how can so many interesting attributes ALSO exist in someone else? it's laughable.  yet i still like you. i some times day dream of holding your hand. or of stealing a kiss if we were together. i'd like to have secret touches or lingering looks or sneaky sounds that unite us when no one else can see. i like you and every day i tell myself to just be happy i get to talk to you and be around you. i tell myself that we can't be together. because it's true. i h...
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Kiss

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 I want to kiss you. All of you. Softy and gently from your toes all the way to your forehead. I want whisper sweet nothings and fiery somethings. I want to kiss you and feel your skin get all prickly and sensitive. I want to feel your arousal with my lips. I’d kiss you every morning when you don’t want to get out of bed and I’d kiss you every time you beckon me with your eyes.  Those eyes of yours give me lovely goosebumps that travel all the way up my spine inspiring desire. When you look at me like that it makes me need you, from my toes to my head. I want you to feel my warmth and be enveloped in it. A blanket of love and lust, distilled desire. I want to be drunk of you. Feel you, touch you, caress you; they are almost the same but with you every word means a new way to be closer to you. You are a goddess. And I am seeking immortality to be with you. If you just whisper “yes” then your voice would sing forever and you’d have me forever. I’d kiss you forever. From your toe...
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Another letter

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Lucy, I k eep daydreaming of how I would tell you I like like you. You are a no nonsense person so I think maybe a direct route would be best. But then sometimes we talk and I think you’d also like a romantic moment, a perfect time to be swayed together. It’s also scary. Scary because there are many reasons why someone could say we would not work as a couple.     Although from my point of view it’s worth trying. Those reasons are superficial at best, when what we could be goes to infinity and beyond. When I am with you, I feel equally at peace and filled with energy. It’s very much like what you think when the music swells in a movie. My feet get lighter and suddenly I’m floating on a cloud of joy. I try to be nonchalant but my eyes disobey me to look at you more often than I’d like. I’m almost sure you know I like you. Maybe you haven’t said anything because you don’t like me back? Or maybe it’s also scary for you?   I’ve liked your vibe ever since I met you. Then the mo...
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Messy

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 Am i bored or am i messy? am i too past the times of giddy romance, or am i hallucinating fantasies? why can't i stop thinking about you? when i see the blue sky i see your eyes looking back at me. what do you see? do you look at everyone so intently, or do we actually have some chemistry? i see you pouting while in deep thought and my mind races to imagine how soft your lips are. your hands move when you talk and like i cat i follow them, smiling on the inside as i daydream of holding hands. i KNOW i should not think of you this way. right? it's been too many years and too much time for this. and yet.... am i bored or am i messy? nah. i think i'm in love. 
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