stories to tell

(This was written in 2023. Seems ages ago  the start of a story I never dared finished writing)  i like you. even though i'm not supposed to. it's silly perhaps. or it could be seriously wrong. to me it just feels normal. but maybe to you it would be weird and gross. i keep telling myself i should want someone like you. not you. basically an imaginary version of you that matches with me in age and place in life. but that's hard to find. does it even exist out there? as far as i know you are unique. i mean how can so many interesting attributes ALSO exist in someone else? it's laughable.  yet i still like you. i some times day dream of holding your hand. or of stealing a kiss if we were together. i'd like to have secret touches or lingering looks or sneaky sounds that unite us when no one else can see. i like you and every day i tell myself to just be happy i get to talk to you and be around you. i tell myself that we can't be together. because it's true. i h...

 I want to kiss you. All of you. Softy and gently from your toes all the way to your forehead. I want whisper sweet nothings and fiery somethings. I want to kiss you and feel your skin get all prickly and sensitive. I want to feel your arousal with my lips. I’d kiss you every morning when you don’t want to get out of bed and I’d kiss you every time you beckon me with your eyes.  Those eyes of yours give me lovely goosebumps that travel all the way up my spine inspiring desire. When you look at me like that it makes me need you, from my toes to my head. I want you to feel my warmth and be enveloped in it. A blanket of love and lust, distilled desire. I want to be drunk of you. Feel you, touch you, caress you; they are almost the same but with you every word means a new way to be closer to you. You are a goddess. And I am seeking immortality to be with you. If you just whisper “yes” then your voice would sing forever and you’d have me forever. I’d kiss you forever. From your toe...

Lucy, I k eep daydreaming of how I would tell you I like like you. You are a no nonsense person so I think maybe a direct route would be best. But then sometimes we talk and I think you’d also like a romantic moment, a perfect time to be swayed together. It’s also scary. Scary because there are many reasons why someone could say we would not work as a couple.     Although from my point of view it’s worth trying. Those reasons are superficial at best, when what we could be goes to infinity and beyond. When I am with you, I feel equally at peace and filled with energy. It’s very much like what you think when the music swells in a movie. My feet get lighter and suddenly I’m floating on a cloud of joy. I try to be nonchalant but my eyes disobey me to look at you more often than I’d like. I’m almost sure you know I like you. Maybe you haven’t said anything because you don’t like me back? Or maybe it’s also scary for you?   I’ve liked your vibe ever since I met you. Then the mo...

 Am i bored or am i messy? am i too past the times of giddy romance, or am i hallucinating fantasies? why can't i stop thinking about you? when i see the blue sky i see your eyes looking back at me. what do you see? do you look at everyone so intently, or do we actually have some chemistry? i see you pouting while in deep thought and my mind races to imagine how soft your lips are. your hands move when you talk and like i cat i follow them, smiling on the inside as i daydream of holding hands. i KNOW i should not think of you this way. right? it's been too many years and too much time for this. and yet.... am i bored or am i messy? nah. i think i'm in love. 

 Do you know the concept of height and energy? The higher something is the higher its energy. However, all that energy is just sitting there, accumulating and growing. Sitting next to you is being inside a beautiful and colorful hot air balloon. The longer we sit in silence, the more beautiful the view, the more I feel happy. Normally being nervous is uncomfortable but with you is more like I can expect excitement and comfort. Strange dichotomies. Being with you is an oxymoron. Bittersweet, comfortable excitement, roaring silence.  I want to hold your hand. To feel the tiniest details of your fingertips interlaced with mine. I want to exchange heat and warm you. But that would mean jumping off the balloon. Transform all my energy into movement. A scary proposition.  Would you want to fly with me? Your brown and gold hair shining in the wind. I’d tell you jokes to make you laugh and you’d laugh at how silly I was and I’d fall in love at how smart you are. I look at you, an...

 A tiny crunch of snow underfoot With a crisp air and a warm caress of an early sun, I walk beside you filled with inner happiness.  Happy to hear your steps, gliding on ice, Skipping on stones, floating into my heart.  A glittering of crackling ice hurts my knees But the adventure exhilarates me and I feel only joy, Inside that tunnel where in my imagination we kissed, Softly and lovingly.  A river, frozen and not, shines on my smile And in silence I sing and dance with you.  The leaves, brown and fragile, fly sometimes from our lookout, And nature turns the ice and the sun and the river into love.