Broken puzzle piece

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 Some days like today I feel I’m a broken puzzle piece. I think about where I belong and I find myself lacking any space. Everything seems forced and I feel bad about myself. It makes me want to leave. I feel or imagine all my friends are slowly retreating away from me. And I understand why. I don’t like me either. I am dumb, arrogant, stubborn, delusional; an idiot pretending to be likable. But people know. There’s just too much time or social pressure out just gentleness by those who know me to sever ties immediately with me. I am sorry to you all. I thought I could be good company but deep down I know I’m just a garbage human. I want to stop torturing you. 

I don’t deserve friends or family. I have been daydreaming lately of never having existed at all. Everyday I just wish I could cease to be. But I hate myself so much that I don’t even make my wishes come true. I just continue in this world. Constantly knowing I do not contribute anything good. Anything unique. Any joy to others. No art or love the only I can conjure. I am a dried autumn leaf. I am a broken puzzle piece that needs to be replaced. 

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