pretending to work
work: i am pretending to work right now. i don't know why i'd do this if i could just be working instead. i want to work. i really do. i have this gnawing pressure to finish my work, this growing anxiety. and yet i just can't work on it . how do people do it? it's like i feel that what i need to do is useless. i can imagine it but my hands can't write. i'd rather be doing an experiment, collecting information, getting data, interpreting that data. but then having to write a chapter on the information? ugh. why can't the world of textbook just be a bunch of bullet points? trust me, i know what i'm doing . i don't what to do i guess. is this an attention disorder or am i just a lazy bum? there's also so many little things to organize and change and do that i feel frozen on how to even start. i end up just staring at the screen. it's like a big scary ghost, as long as i stare at it i will not be consumed by it. however, it keeps growing and