bitter

 i think i get affected emotionally because it feels like i've invested in a friendship that was never reciprocated to begin with.

the day started normal enough. went to work. it was a classic david and co. day. i had to work with the thigh again. this time, we knew what to do to get some good staining. around noon i had little time to get lunch but thankfully r and j picked it up for me. then we had about 25 minutes to eat it before the experiments continued. i watched jeopardy with r, a, m, and j while i ate. i'm pretty certain we'd be pretty good as a team in bar trivia. one day we'll go. we got about an episode and a half before we had to go back to work. throughout the morning e had been in a quiet and sour mood. at some point after lunch i had to go into the office and she had a mean look on her face. i asked her what was wrong, if she was ok. she responded that she was upset because she has been trying to work and we had been too distracting during our jeopardy session. now, the whole morning she has been able to work in peace because r and myself have been doing experiments. i'm sure a and m aren't noisy. i'm also pretty sure t took time to set-up his side experiment. also right after the post-lunch work she had the whole office to herself for the rest of the afternoon because we went all went back out to do lab work. but the 25 minutes during lunch is when she absolutely needed to work and annoyed her the most apparently. enough of an annoyance to treat others with a certain disdain that would make anyone feel sad. bah!

work continued on as normal however and it's just a minor thing that i shouldn't care about again. i do think i'm caring less, and getting better at ignoring the negativity. i hope anyway. 

after work i had to catch the train in the rain. it was a nice romantic rain. the kind that doesn't get you too wet and lets you run for cover under a tree with your date. getting you very close to each other. hair just a little wet to make things a little darker and suave. it was cold too. enough to make your heart race, make you feel the romance and excitement. i ran to the train station and imagined bumping onto a blumbering mess of a cute woman. a meet-cute. we'd lock eyes on each other and i'd say a stupid rain pun and she'd laugh a little too hard. then we'd stand apart while waiting for the train, glancing at each other ever so often. i would wait and hope the train would take longer to arrive, just so that i could steal a couple of glances and steel myself to maybe talk to her. there was something special in that accidental bump. we both felt it. when the train arrived my daydream broke and i got into the stupid machine. 

back home i called the parental units and cooked cauliflower fried rice. i also got a surprising text from e, apologizing for looking like she was angry. apparently her work is not going well and she got miffed that we were all laughing and playing the game. i wanted to tell her that she should also then apologize to everyone else because it wasn't just that moment that i came in, she was in a foul mood all day and was very curt and a little rude all around. but i didn't because that would only maybe make her feel bad and why pour salt on the wound? she's trying to apologize and that's a good thing.

now the day is over and i have to wake up extra early tomorrow. we get to work on a full on cadaver.