dead

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 super quick update just to keep the habit:

-went to work at 6am in mega rain

-cadaver study

-first morning stage i worked with the lead vest on. heavy and annoying and hot.

-got hospital breakfast. took most of the students up with me. got a fresh omelette du fromage and a juice and a coffee. excellent. 

-came back to second stage of work

-got lunch. 

-more work

-clean up

-went home in less rain

thoughts:

we spoke about our upcoming hiking trip. about car assignments and who is driving who. is it bad that my first thought was about coming up with an excuse to get out of going? i think i may not be as welcome in this trip. i'm older and not as fun anymore. i used to be a jester but lately i just feel like a bitter old man. i don't think these kids would want a sourpuss around.  especially because i feel like i'm feuding with e without an actual feud. it's weird, but we seem to be at odds for everything these days. i say something, and immediately she puts it down. i think (i hope it's just imaginary) that she tries to belittle all my ideas, and she'd take the opinion of anyone else (well maybe not r's) over mine regardless of "expertise". i hope it's just stress, or anxiety or something that can improve. from either of us. then again maybe i'm just being a sensitive negative nancy.

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