date night (virtual)

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 so this will be short because i am tired and want to sleep. i hope.

went to work. did experiments. a little disappointing results unfortunately. everything else was meh. except for crunchy mochi snacks! those were pretty good. 

throughout the day i felt myself sinking into a depression. i keep to what's not there. i keep daydreaming and feeling bad when they don't (trans)substantiate. irrational. i even ranted about this stuff to r. ugh so embarrassing. i really need to know when to just close off from people. i guess part of the dark mood is to also alienate people, and what better way than to get very personal and stupid. which is what i did. to probably the only person that still likes my company. sorry r. i will do better.

got home rather early but just in time to clean my apartment and get ready for my virtual date courtesy of the apps. the date was with cm. it started pretty good. we each had 5 beers to try out and the conversation flowed well. we went through the usual getting to know you questions. it was a pleasant conversation. i don't know if there were sparks or anything of the sort. she seemed like a nice person. we ended the conversation with maybe the promise of another encounter. she did mention she likes biking. maybe a weekend ride?

thoughts:

feels weird going on a date. like i'm cheating on cy. maybe i should wait longer?

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